The Micros0ft Emergency Medical Holograph
experience report from USS Voyager
While B'Elanna Torres is playing with Windows 98, a crew member is heavily injured by an exploding panel.
(The explosion was, of course, caused by an operating system bug.)
He manages to get to sick bay just in time...
- Patient:
- Activate Emergency Medical Hologram.
- Computer:
- Activating the EMH will run a medical scan. Do you want to do this?
- Patient:
- Yes!
- Computer:
- Are you sure?
- Patient:
- YES!!!!!
- Computer:
- This option is for advanced users and system administrators only. Are you sure you want to use it?
- Patient:
- (starts having problems breathing...) Y...es...
-
- (finally, the EMH appears...)
- EMH:
- Please state the nature of the medical emergency.
- Patient:
- I... neeed... helllpppp... (blood covers his face...)
- EMH:
- Scanpatient checking patient C:...
- Checking organ structure...
- Checking brain allocation tables...
- Checking for lost thought segments...
Found 13,451,234 un-allocated brain cells. Store to different cells, or delete?
- Patient:
- Skip this stupid scan! Help!!!
- EMH:
- Help, ok. Loading help file, please wait...
Store to different cells: The content of un-allocated brain cells will be relocated to a different organ for later examination and possible data recovery.
Delete: The content will be erased. WARNING: This can not be undone. For more help, return to the main menu and press F1.
- Patient:
- (barely breathing...) Override EMH programming. Go straight to repair subroutine.
- EMH:
- Enter password:
- Patient:
- I don't... know...
- EMH:
- EMH98 caused a general protection fault in module SECURITY at address 0040:B7FF. Ignore or close?
- Patient:
- Ignore... (collapses)
- EMH:
- Warning: The system has become unstable.
Press ENTER to wait and see if the patient ends. Press CTRL-ALT-DEL to kill all patients and reboot the system. All unsafed patients will be lost...
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