Top 20 reasons why dogs don't use computers

  • Can't stick their heads out of Windows '95.
  • Fetch command not available on all platforms.
  • Hard to read the monitor with your head cocked to one side.
  • Too difficult to "mark" every website they visit.
  • Can't help attacking the screen when they hear "You've Got Mail."
  • Fire hydrant icon simply frustrating.
  • Involuntary tail wagging is dead giveaway.
  • They're browsing www.pethouse.com instead of working.
  • Keep bruising noses trying to catch that MPEG frisbee.
  • Not at all fooled by Chuckwagon Screen Saver.
  • Still trying to come up with an "emoticon" that signifies tail-wagging.
  • Oh, but they WILL... with the introduction of the Microsoft Opposable Thumb.
  • Three words: Carpal Paw Syndrome.
  • 'Cause dogs ain't GEEKS! Now, cats, on the other hand...
  • Barking in next cubical keeps activating YOUR voice recognition software.
  • SmellU-SmellMe™ still in beta test.
  • SIT and STAY were hard enough, GREP and AWK are out of the question!
  • Saliva-coated mouse gets mighty difficult to manouever.
  • Annoyed by lack of newsgroup, alt.pictures.master's.leg.
  • Butt-sniffing more direct and less deceiving than online chat rooms.

and the Number 1 Reason Dogs Don't Use Computers...

  1. TrO{gO DsA[M,bN HyAqR4tDc TgrOo TgYPmE WeIjTyH P;AzWqS,. *



Originally found at Windows95 Annoyances, Copyright © 1995 - 1999 Creative Element™. All rights reserved.
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