The Micros0ft Emergency Medical Holograph
experience report from USS Voyager

While B'Elanna Torres is playing with Windows 98, a crew member is heavily injured by an exploding panel.
(The explosion was, of course, caused by an operating system bug.)
He manages to get to sick bay just in time...

Patient:

Activate Emergency Medical Hologram.

Computer:

Activating the EMH will run a medical scan. Do you want to do this?

Patient:

Yes!

Computer:

Are you sure?

Patient:

YES!!!!!

Computer:

This option is for advanced users and system administrators only. Are you sure you want to use it?

Patient:

(starts having problems breathing...) Y...es...

 

(finally, the EMH appears...)

EMH:

Please state the nature of the medical emergency.

Patient:

I... neeed... helllpppp... (blood covers his face...)

EMH:

Scanpatient checking patient C:...
- Checking organ structure...
- Checking brain allocation tables...
- Checking for lost thought segments...
Found 13,451,234 un-allocated brain cells. Store to different cells, or delete?

Patient:

Skip this stupid scan! Help!!!

EMH:

Help, ok. Loading help file, please wait...
Store to different cells: The content of un-allocated brain cells will be relocated to a different organ for later examination and possible data recovery.
Delete: The content will be erased. WARNING: This can not be undone. For more help, return to the main menu and press F1.

Patient:

(barely breathing...) Override EMH programming. Go straight to repair subroutine.

EMH:

Enter password:

Patient:

I don't... know...

EMH:

EMH98 caused a general protection fault in module SECURITY at address 0040:B7FF. Ignore or close?

Patient:

Ignore... (collapses)

EMH:

Warning: The system has become unstable.
Press ENTER to wait and see if the patient ends. Press CTRL-ALT-DEL to kill all patients and reboot the system. All unsafed patients will be lost...